This may be regarded as a controversial statement, or maybe even just a blind perspective from some guy that can’t see. Nonetheless, this is a thought worth looking into, because the old way of looking at this monster may not be the only or most effective approach to overcoming suicide. I’ve always been amused whenever someone announced they were a recovering alcoholic. I always thought it was either you’re an alcoholic or not. What’s with this recovering thing? Until, I had a brush up with the monster of suicide myself. Long after what I thought was my “recovery” from my suicidal tendencies, it was a moment that made a lot of things clear about this monster.
I was in the passenger seat and not sure how it started but I was very upset. Out of nowhere I had a sudden thought of ending it all. It had been years since I’ve had any thoughts of taking my life. Especially by an absurd action like jumping out of a moving car on a freeway. For some reason my criticism of those who I thought used “recovering alcoholic” as a get out of jail free card, in case they relapse, came to mind. It was then, I understood what it meant. At any given time, those in recovery are one decision from disaster. That living life with this monster unchecked is living with a ticking time bomb. No matter who you are.
I was already in full blown ministry, married with a family, and life was good. I didn’t understand the role this monster had in my life. I keep referring it to as a monster, because that is what this and any other addiction is. The revelation of what recovering in recovering alcoholic made me curious about any other similarities suicide may have with other addictions. The findings were eye-opening. I will try to make it as simple as possible at the risk of sounding silly.
Suicide is a monster that starts off as a little pet. We generally know them as different shades of depression. Some of us can shake it off, for others of us it’s not so simple. For those like me, we take these little pets and put them in a cage in our room. We go about life and something happens that triggers a negative thought or feeling. We go to our room, pull out that little pet and begin to pet it which in turn feeds it. We do it till we feel better and get back to life. We don’t really know when it happens, but this cycle has happened so much we start finding comfort in depression. Some of it is familiarity and some a false sense of control. Then one day a life bomb goes off and we go right to the source of comfort we have become addicted to. We then try to put this pet back into the cage only to find out we can no longer put it back in the cage. It’s now a monster too big for the cage and too big for us to control. Like any other addiction it has taken over and now tells us how to feel and think about life, others, and ourselves. In the beginning it whispers the same patterns the other monsters do. From “it’s okay,” “no one understands,” to “you deserve to feel sorry for yourself.” Like all the other monsters the whispers slowly turn into deafening whispers like “you’re such a mess up,” “nobody cares,” to “you would make everybody happier if you were gone.” Unfortunately, many have lost loved ones to this cruel monster. My heart and prayers go out for those who have endured the storm of tragedy and suffering this monster leaves behind. I also pray for those who may be struggling with suicide right now. I pray this blog will help all of us address and overcome this new addiction terrorizing our communities. Hopefully, what you discover here will help in your journey. I strongly encourage you to consult your doctor concerning any decisions based on any information you get from this blog or on lotominstries.com. I am not a certified physician or lawyer. I am only a certifiable survivor and experienced overcomer of suicide. Looking forward to learning and growing together.
So, what do we do about it?
The following are just some of the many ways we can deal with and prayerfully even conquer this monster. Again, I strongly urge you to consult a professional and/or doctor before making any decisions based on the information you get from this blog or anywhere on lotoministries.com. The following are some things that have helped me.
One of the best ways to conquer any monster is by starving it. Take anything away from the monster that it can feed on. Time, thoughts, and energy. The more time you spend petting this monster the more you’re feeding it. GET RID of any substances like alcohol or pills that only cause you to lose more control. It may not help to fill your day with music, text, art, or people who encourage self-destructive thoughts or behavior. Get good at identifying triggers that put you in this state of mind.
Now I’m not suggesting that you deny you may be in depression, life has its bad days. I am encouraging you to deny this monster the power and ability to dictate to you how you feel and react to what’s going on in and around you. We all have bad days but we all don’t respond the same. You can’t do anything about many things that happen in your life. However, you have total control over how you respond to them. The old saying is, “You can’t do anything about the birds flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.
Starving the monster is only half the battle. Now, you must load up for the fight. There’s still those whispers from this conniving monster. The greatest way to drown out those whispers is loading up with the Word of God. Start reading the bible to discover the greatest Person’s opinion of you. After all, He did create you and knows quite a bit about you that you don’t even know. Then fill your days and surround yourself with things and people that are uplifting. Doing the opposite will have the opposite effect. We all heard it before, “Garbage in garbage out.”
Speaking of loading up I strongly urge you to do what I love doing, myself. Eat. Eat something healthy. Doesn’t have to be a whole plate. It could just be a little here and there. When ever offered take a little bite, by the end of the day you would still have something in your stomach to help your brain continue to function.
Get to moving when you can. It’s hard to do when in a heavily depressed state, but we are talking about fighting for yourself here. You don’t need to run a marathon, but just relocate yourself from room to room. Your body has natural ways of combating things harmful to you that needs you to do things to get the blood flowing. These things seem silly, but it will get you through the fog quicker. Getting yourself to a place where you can go for walks or light exercises will have massive impact on your progress.
Now here’s probably the most important thing you can do if you are dealing with this monster. Say something. Regardless of which end you are on in this, whether you’re thinking about harming yourself, or have that horrible feeling someone you know is thinking about it, just ask. There’s no perfect way to do it. The important part is just doing it. You don’t want to be the few wishing you said something or the majority wondering why they didn’t say anything.
This is a monster that has devastated so many families. I know one thing that helps those who have thought about hurting themselves or those who have loved ones that do is talking. There’s so many thoughts that go through our heads that are totally different when we here them out loud. Please share on here because another way to eradicate this monster is numbers. Monsters hate light. I would even reach out to the other organizations that have a better more professional approach to this like . Suicide kills quietly. Let’s get on the bullhorn and let somebody know we do care. Looking forward to your say. Love and Lord bless,